For the longest time I thought calamari was chicken..

A corn dog a day keeps the doctor away

I can't afford to get any dumber.

Why did I put potatoes in my purse last night..

The morning after poops are really getting to me

Just because I turned left on red and got in a bit of wreck.. Doesn't make me a bad driver. Promise

One of my legs is way longer than the other... No wonder I walk like a pimp with a limp. Holla

Nickelback defines my life.

You know the best place to get married? In the garage.. So you can back out -old man at walmart hahah