Popular tweets

I'm helping my daughter search for her chocolate that I ate last night.

Aquí en florida, el avocado 🥑 is currency 💴

Being a good dad starts with presence not presents

Quiero una salchipapa para que me recargué la vida

Make sure you blow before you swallow!

That coffee can be hot! 🌬☕️

I wanna buy my daughter the Kuba bed from IKEA but the nearest IKEA is 4 hours away. — feeling disappointed

i wanna go fishing, who's down 😂 lol 😜

Si te vas a portar mal, me invitas... 🔱

how much the tooth fairy suppose to leave underneath because inflation u know 🙄

Don't forget today to do your taxes. No one wants to help you on Saturday.

When are kids allow to sit in the front of the car?

I kept every diaper receipt, when Amaya gets her first paycheck, I'm getting my money back! Believe that!!!! #cheapdads 😜lol😂

Gentlemen are a dying breed. Be one and you’ll stand out.

Hookers aren’t cool, but remember, the free ones are a lot more expensive. lol ahhahahahahahahahahahahaha

Buy a plunger before you need a plunger. LOL